May 28, 2000

28 May —- Satin covered knee-pads are available at the altar . Memorial Day weekend. Atlanta. The city is glorious. Driving in the pickup truck is a pleasure. Everyone but seemingly half a dozen other people have left the city for their summer weekend place on St Simon’s Island off the Georgia coast , the Florida beaches , or the North Georgia mountains. Yours truly has been enjoying such lovely American pastimes like mowing the lawn, making lemonade, swinging in my hammock at dusk , and seeing a movie at the mall. ….. I truly enjoy such simple incredibly old-fashioned activities. And I have to say that after a life of seeking out the new ,the dangerous, the ultra-intense…it makes sense to me that I find simple things to be nurturing and exquisite. I have had so many lives already. Been so many different women. …And life’s diversity offers a balance……. There are jars of alcohol with black snakes floating in the bottom available in a Tokyo night spot I was in recently , outrageous toothless fat strippers in the Atlanta nightspot, Claremont Lounge , and the same Japanese Privet bushes are in my front yard as are artfully arranged inside a trendy nouvelle cuisine Tokyo restaurant. ..Balance is all around….. —When ‘cutting edge’ is an effort, it’s the same pose as unquestioning conformity because it is that person’s time to embrace the sanction of desperation, the cheap thrill and artifice. And only the individual can know when healing can begin……for some–desperation , artifice, and thrill-seeking IS the altar of their inexorable religion. Making music and writing are absolute essentials to my life in this world. They aren’t activities in which I engage. They are as necessary in who I am as the breath I take in my lungs…. And healing is a solitary process.

x J ————————————————————————— ——-