June 23, 2000

so that the loss of your heart does not kill me i’m pushing my body i’m forcing my lungs to breathe out fear wraps itself around my thoughts the panic that sets in is familiar but unwelcome i’ve been here before there is a romantic myth protected in the back of a young girl’s mind but the woman tells the story of experience you want your dream to be real but it isn’t and you wish the attention would return but the fact is your lover is by you it’s self confidence you earn

you cannot look to another for affirmation or identity. and it’s true that all love is free will.

and whenever contentment sets in: red alert. red alert. red alert.

this morning: I remember the gypsies on the Yugoslavian mountain top. And the outstretched arms of the scream approaching Laibach. *************************************************************************** *************************************************************************** ************************************************************