February 16, 2001

Feb 16

as usual, forgive any typos and mispellings as I rush to get this off to you…

I have been so busy that I have not been able to keep up with Artery as I would have liked. I want to try and recount some thoughts/observations from the past month…

First of all, I had said I would write more about this so here goes : the film Crouching Tiger…., to me was a profound feminist and political statement. The woman warriors are kept out of the training compound as women are ‘not allowed’. Yet, the most amazing warrior in the film who has achieved death defying status at the end of the film when she leaps off the mountain to make her lover’s wish come true, is a young woman…… I loved the film and thought it sent out a powerful message.

I saw Hannibal as a morality play with Clarice portraying the morals of the audience as the person who has a respect/hate relationship with Hannibal. She does not want him to die but she does want him to be caught and incarcerated so that he stops killing. There is a ‘beauty and the beast’ love story aspect to it that is simultaneously disturbing and strangely erotic. The brain scene and the wild boar scene are beyond horrific to me and I mostly wish I had not subjected myself.

Speaking of eating, (well, you KNOW I have a warped and black and perverse sense of humor) My trip to California was a lot of fun and very NOURISHING. I had a great time hanging out with Maynard and meeting Tool who are definitely the epitome of sexy rock stars ….and also the elegant William Faith and —- even though I was basically an extra in a huge party scene with a bunch of other folks – I did have the privledge of standing next to Cameron Crowe and hearing his direction and seeing the monitors of the scene and getting an idea of what it will look like…Also , both Tom Cruise (who comes across as extremely intelligent and gentle and polished and is very very handsome in person) and Penelope Cruz (who is extremely tiny) were staying in character interacting with each other off camera directly next to my position and so Tom’s shoulder and arm was rubbing against me and Penelope’s hair was flung in my face a few times… I enjoyed this a lot actually. I told Mr. Scott Martin that -hey–I want to be in a scene with Gary Oldman or Harvey Keitel or Willem DeFoe. (These are the actors who really turn me ON……….) I thought the set for this scene in Vanilla Sky looked like Masterpiece Theatre and not exactly cutting edge…and there was a Chuck Close painting of Robert Rauschenberg which is suppossed to be a portrait of David Ames’ father (Tom’s character) ! Hmm.

So in New York, I ran into Thurston Moore in Soho and we chatted for a moment. He said SY were in town to rehearse . T and Kim no longer live in NYC, of course.

I also hung out with musician friends Bill Bronson, and Joe Budenholzer and Larry Seven . Larry has convinced me to do a show at Joe’s Pub. We went there and it is a perfect caberet for me …

The Headfone Follies performance was PERFORMANCE ART in all its glory. I enjoyed meeting the 5 other adult women who performed it with me. One teaches theory at Julliard and all were music teachers and /or performers with an impressive list of accomplishments. A photo soon…

It was in a tiny underground theatre and there were actually a fairly small number of people in attendance as far as I could tell–but the Village Voice was there and took photos and I thought it was a challenging and rewarding experience and I ‘m glad I participated. Thanks to Michelle Brouillet for the loan of her exclusive Martin Margiela gown ! It was a lot of fun to wear in the show.

So now, I have a show to do in Austin – which is one of my favorite towns. And I am looking for a percussionist as two of my favorite ones are unavailable…..

Things are progressing for the Men project. We did some amazing stuff for it at James Izzo’s studio in New Jersey …

I got the new Tricky cd ep last night, ‘Mission Accomplished’ . Not only do I want him to do a mix for me but this label is impressing me with its eclectic and incredible roster of artists.

Yesterday I had a great session with my therapist, Linda . And even though she is a ‘checks and balances’ for me, I am feeling good and optimistic and capable of coping .

Something interesting happened to me in California. I realized that I could walk away form my entire current life and begin again. Since then, I am detached and more balanced than ever and few things are as important as what they seemed…To stay in this mental zone is the challenge. To not fall into that place of torture where I was trapped this past fall/winter.

Why is the hardest thing — remembering that WE control our destiny and out emotions and our thoughts.