July 26, 2001 12:33 AM
I finished the book : The Tipping Point and am now completing: Culture of Complaint (Robert Hughes)…Now I’m continuing to absorb the excellent new Tricky c.d. and I’ve started a book sent to me by these nice people I know out in L.A. The book has a marketing person’s catchy title and so it is called : Relationship Rescue. ( P. C. McGraw, Ph.D. )Regardless of the title, the content is hard and direct and geared for impact. Just what I respond to… 🙂 The section that I am in now is about ‘needs.’ What I like about the message here is the directive that the goal is not to be “right.” Furthermore, it is pointless to judge whether your partner’s needs are valid or inappropriate. There is a big point however in *recognizing* his or her needs. The author also states that if your own needs are not being met in a relationship, YOU are responsible for that being the case. It’s a scary and hard thing to know and convey your needs. What this all boils down to is the “risk of intimacy.” Here is a particularly beautiful quote from the book: “To permit someone to have intimate knowledge of you means to take your guard down, share with that person things you may have been afraid to acknowledge even to yourself. Intimacy means sharing what you dream about, strive for- and also sharing your weaknesses. You are giving your partner a lot of power with this knowledge.” For me, being open and vulnerable is a strength. For those of you who have heard my very intimate work, the ANHEDONIAC c.d., you have heard this idea stated directly on a piece on that album…
Thanks to all of you who have emailed me with your comments about my cd-r , Dislocation. The songs that you hear there are going to wind up as duets with some of my favorite vocalists. I am particularly excited about the piece called ‘Feral’ on Dislocation . I have invited someone very special to sing on it with me …. ALSO: Coming soon on this site will be a new review of Disburden Disciple by distinguished music critic, Thom Jurek.