September 15, 2001

September 15, 2001 1:36 PM

The title of this artery is : I Am Not A ‘Dream Girl’. read on.

Savage acts stir savage reactions. An Indian was brutally beaten with a baseball bat in New York by a mob of spitting hate ( i cannot bring myself to call these savages ‘men’ ) who in their ignorance and fear thought the Indian was Arabic and therefore connected to the terrorrist attacks. Also, in some cities across America, vandalism has occurred to mosques. I believe these violent racist acts to be unthinkable, incomprehensible to most Americans …….Yet experiencing racism in New York City in the late eighties and in parts of the South as a child, I can remember well the danger of the raging racist few. One incident comes to mind : A group of skinhead punks threatened my life on E. 6th Street in NYC around 1987 when I had dreadlocks and wore beads in my hair. They yelled to me : “Hey, Nigger Coon Bitch. We’re coming after you. Your life is Over.” Then they began to throw rocks and bottles at me. All of this because they ? assumed I was compromising ‘racial purity’ by ? breeding ? with a black man since I had dreadlocks ? Who the hell knows. In Swans in the early shows, there was hatred from the skinheads in the audience towards us . Objects were thrown at us and I was gobbed with spit and called every vile name imaginable.

So what is any solution to racism and gang mentality at a time when I am as angry as a mob myself over what happened in New York on Sept 11 ? When I feel like the Mother Of Destruction and want to fearlessly slaughter the murderers ?

Confronting yourself and your emotions is part of the solution. Not letting the terrorists destroy our spirit is another.

We alone decide how we are going to react in our own lives to what has happened. Chaos and blind reactionary tactics are NOT a solution.

For myself, I have wanted to be alone during all of this and reflect and process the necessary emotional reactions to mass murder. to evil. *

The absurdity . Having a website and being a woman, I sometimes get email from men who only know my website and do not know me from Swans or my cds. Some of them approach me as a person with a brain and not in a flirty and coy manner. This will probably not come as a shock but I don’t do playful cock tease flirtation email. Leading someone on like a vain phony. It is a waste of time . So I get email this week from a clearly lonely guy I’ve never met who writes to me in a sincere and apologetic tone that I am ” in his dreams ” and he also finds me “wildly” exciting. ??????

and the balance of the world has forever changed . And the U.S. and its allies gear up to counter attack.


i don’t think so, dear. and do not make me your dream girl.