September 23, 2001

September 23, 2001 01:24 AM

Breathing is a mirror. No reasons to look back. No trying to remember who I was, to have a place to begin, or all the events and reasons that put me here. Let go. Pull in. Reserve time. It is more than hearing. It is Listening.

I walked the streets alone for hours letting go of the inner grip. Letting go of fear. Letting go of weakness.

I know someone who refuses to settle for anything less than excellence. This someone has a bullshit detector turned on all the time. This person is critical and thoughtful and offers powerful gifts to me that I will only receive if I LISTEN with a trusting heart and an open mind. I must let go of everything but strength and confidence to receive these gifts. They are offered with total unapologetic honesty.

When I was a girl, I would look I the mirror trying to see if I had bloomed yet. I kept hearing about blooming and I concluded that it was when you were as radiant as you would ever be, as beautiful and as fully actualized. I would see what I thought was a bud but never a bloom.

There are moments now when I am realizing that the bloom is not one of rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes .. I am blooming amidst the many gifts I am receiving from Listening.