November 24, 2001

November 24, 2001 3:02 PM

I lay out in my front yard on a blanket at 5:30 a.m. and watched this meteor storm. it is the last time it will happen in my lifetime. It was so deeply beautiful. The human life and all its woes pale . Another reminder that we are not the center of the universe. . I am filled with sheer glee over searching the sky for falling stars and holding hands in child-like uncorrupted wonder , adventure, courage ! Sharing this….. the little girl who lives inside. . .

The adult keeps realizing she has only begun to question what she thought she knew about life in the here and now. When one interprets the actions and/or words of another person, there is a danger of assuming – i.e. ‘reading something into’ those actions/words. The shock comes when you realize that you have manufactured a meaning that was not only unintended ; indeed it does not exist. How can you presume to really “understand” what someone says to you – How can you presume to “know” what they mean – And are you ready at all times to be betrayed – Or To be misunderstood -To be alone . For many, there is no ”comfort zone”. There is no “soft place” to fall. Only when your true aloneness is faced deep down, do you face your fears. Fear is at the base of so many things people do….Fear and denial and resentment. Resentment ( ”indignation or ill will felt as a result of a real or imagined grievance”) has blood sucking fangs that will kill tenderness and plant the seeds of exclusion. I have experienced exclusion of this nature in the past and I will not allow resentment to cultivate this poison. Take an axe and chop away at its roots. Don’t stop.

Hold hands in wonder. In courage.

and BEWARE OF WOWSERITES while you’re at it !

I have leaves to rake…