November 30, 2001

November 30, 2001 01:03 AM

‘Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer.’ – Shunryu Suzuki

*

At times I will sense something straining in the air around me. Moving its tentacles ever so insipidly. Then emerging full face as an attack dog barking at a shadow. Why this ever catches me by surprise or leads me once again through the corridors of logic to mind control techniques to override anything that tries to change the temperature , is useless. I know not to resist and yet keep doing it in an attempt to avoid discordance. To strive to avoid this inner conflict – that in and of itself is ‘an opponent who cannot be beaten or overcome’. Nemesis. *

tonight I went for a run alone on the park’s trail. the wind was up and it made me work harder, like swimming upstream. what I like about running on the trail is that it is a time of solitary peace. emptiness of cluttered thought. I breathed rhythmically and I continued to move. simple and complete. without worry. without concern. being in the moment. events happen around me and yet they flow through without distraction . when I stop the run : feeling full of oxygenated blood , cheeks flushed, chest wet. alive. *

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