March 25, 2002

March 25, 2002 3:47 PM

I smiled last night. Jello Biafra 🙂 was featured in a short film presentation on last night’s Academy Awards!

Music. Visual arts. Writing. When you do something that asserts your individuality and involves giving voice to that individuality, you must have: 1. unwavering belief in yourself 2. an energy that you maintain and nurture at all costs 3. the ability to be comfortable alone. These things are necessary for your survival in the face of the disappointments that will come and the plans/ideas that encouraged you – not turning out the way you had hoped. In other words, you continue to believe in yourself and your output even in the face of rejection. There came a time for me as a child when I realized that I was not going to have the so-called security and comfort of a lifestyle my parents wished for me to have. There were signs from the very beginning. In school I was ‘head of the class’ in subjects the other children loathed and I was ridiculed because of it. I loved reading and writing especially. I never saw absorbing / interpreting / expressing via language as a chore. I saw it a gateway to a stimulating journey to places faraway and exciting. Always, two things that have kept me going in my life are a stamina (that I didn’t even notice I had until people close to me pointed it out in a kind of awe), and a strong life of the imagination. I paid the price all through school for excelling in English and Literature. I was therefore , ‘strange’ and an ‘outsider’ without friends. In school, I also loved running and solitary atheletic pursuits. That remains the preference today. I was talking with MG (Gira) recently about a peer of ours in music and M. said that this person has had a “charmed life” and that explained some of his success. As you pursue your own vision, whether it is in music or acting or writing or any other field , you will meet people along the way who will surpass your ‘achievements’ in one way or the other and you may be tempted to feel that other people have a charmed life. For me, the way to work is to set my own standards of achievement and realize that I ‘march to a different drum.’

If you are on the path I have been talking about in this Artery, you are already familiar with these ideas. However, as someone who has been on her own path for years, I have learned firsthand the experience rather than the logical concept. Equilibrium in the face of : (fill in the blank) , “adversity” ,”upheavel” , or just ” the unexpected ” …