May 27, 2002

May 27, 2002 01:01 AM

* Have been again enjoying the writing of Yukio Mishima , “born into a samurai family and imbued with the code of complete control over mind and body…. the same code that produced the austerity and self-sacrifice of Zen.” I intend to read every book he has written. .. A few titles : Confessions Of A Mask, Thirst For Love, Death In Midsummer, Acts Of Worship..and The Decay Of The Angel which ends The Sea Of Fertility tetralogy. Mishima stated he would die when it was completed. On that day, in November 1970, he committed seppuku. *

It is warm now but not yet humid. The insects are here again and so is the lush garden and the slight breeze as I do things like pull up weeds and mow the lawn and sweep the driveway and porch. I had some pictures taken today in the front yard that will be put up on this site for you as I prefer myself these days : very little makeup, natural hair, and worn and weathered clothing from the wonderful store ‘ shack, inc. ‘ in new york city. This is the time of year when the roses bloom and fall away too quickly so you had better stop and ….caress them ! ( Those who know me will undertand this little private joke….) * a friend told me this afternoon that I am emotion based rather than logic based. This is not the first time someone close to me has said such a thing. Lately, I have thought of what guitarist David Torn said to me about my voice as well as Brian Williams (aka Lustmord) and also Michael Gira : that I am a ‘blues singer’. I’ve never really analyzed what ‘style’ I do as it just comes naturally to me. Nothing is forced. I do know that I do not have any artificial barrier between myself and my singing. I don’t become “a singer”. I simply am the singer. The vignette and state of things in the piece is the reality. I am aware that I would not be able to sing this way or even have an interest in voice if it were not for my emotional connection to it. Perhaps even though a high price is paid by being an ’emotional’ person, it has been necessary to be a ‘blues singer.’