August 10, 2002 02:34 AM
Just finished rehearsing a moment ago. I’ve been “away” for days now as the music for the new recording project I’m doing with the musicians from the band,Neurosis fills me and occupies my thoughts. Leaving in a few days for California to record the vocal components. Elsewhere : I have a patch of poison ivy rash on my left arm, and episodes of pressure against my chest , forehead , pit of my stomach. Weight . I was thinking tonight about the state of ” shell-shocked”… A year ago there was still a grip onto several aspects of my world that I now see as deluded and unrealistic. If you finally give up on a vision that you held onto deeply for years, something changes physically inside with this mental adjustment. I am in that place now , reflecting upon the fragile nature of personal “truth”. A light has gone out and my eyes are once again adjusting to another unknown world.