October 20, 2002

October 20, 2002 05:16 AM

keep an open heart and a light shining inside it. hold your innocence carefully and understand that no matter what, the light will not go out and the dark will not consume the flame. I am faithful to myself. I hold out my hand to others who see me; see the glow.

for two hours I sat with the heaviness. I let tears wash my face. I felt my mother’s arms hold me. I saw my former lover with joy.

I have opened a door tonight and taken a step. there is another door that is at the end of a corridor. my feet sink into dark blue carpeting as I slowly walk.

my expressions of affection.

he is indifferent.

yet i still love.

toxicity of the spirit is not real.

my name is Jarboe. I will proceed to shelter myself from harm.

and the harm is an illusion. compassion dissolves emotional pain. there is no anger. anger is masking fear.

and fear disappears with compassion.

I am not afraid of him for I still love.

I declare to all eyes who will read these words that I welcome love into my life. with out fear. with my flame shining brightly.

and tomorrow my arms hold my mother.

and I give a kiss to my lovers.