January 23, 2003 12:05 AM
i had contempt for what i knew was unimportant and useless : broken hearts and love in general. i’d hear songs about the anguished lover and feel utterly detached and even disgusted. all i cared about was lifting weights and doing whet i felt like doing alone. i worked out 3 hours a day. i danced with my stereo blasting. i cared about my beautiful body and my music. if i wanted sex, all i had to do was strap on my leg weights, high heeled black boots, and a g string, and watch myself in the mirror. .. well, present day: i still love my body and music still circulates in my skull. but i no longer have contempt for those things that i thought would never “touch” me. . because behind bars, the hunger is maddening.