April 20, 2003

April 20, 2003 02:07 AM

Not sure if I mentioned this in Artery but I may be going out to Portland in May to do some songs live on the radio. Possibly a performance elsewhere. More as it develops. TODAY: I spent most of today working on the land surrounding the house. I’m still following the plan : “Operation Clean-up Winter” that I wrote upon surveying the utter state of disarray ( overgrowth and vines and weeds and tall grasses and branches and peeling paint ). The good news is that after blasting myself with Grape Seed extract, the congestion deep in my chest is vastly improved and I am getting healthy again. After all that work on the land, I got in the truck this evening and drove to the park and ran 5 miles. Sheer agony. I thought I was going to EXPLODE from overexertion, but I DID it. My legs are finally waking up from their slumber in Europe during my month long stay there and it feels good to be getting back into the routine of getting this machine back in form. Last week I also returned to free weights and my biceps are aching as I type this. My goal is to increase their size. I love that sore ache because I know what it means. You have to tear the muscle tissue up before you build it with new mass. The thing is that in addition to being a person who spends considerable time in her thoughts, I am a jock. I love straining the body. I love climbing and running and hiking and free weights. I love sex for the very reason that it builds stamina and pushes the body to stimulate the flow of growth hormones that not only slow down the aging process and destroy free radicals that cause disease, but FEED the BRAIN. It was DAMN hard but I did the 5 miles. The last mile I was flying full stride. My thighs announced themselves loudly. I cheered. …… ….

I came home and took a bath , then went over to the children’s hospital to deliver a soft stuffed toy Easter Bunny to the little boy I wrote about recently who had heart surgery. Even though he was expecting me, he was asleep so I put the stuffed toy bunny on the windowsill and spoke to his mother for a few minutes in the hallway. …. I have also been sending positive thoughts to someone else. I visualize all of their pain and anger washing out of them into me where I will absorb it and purge it once and for all through my sweat – as I run. ……” People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest. It was a scandal that a breed of fearless and sinister people ran about freely, so they attached a nickname and myth to these people to get even with them, to make up for the many times they had felt afraid…” -Hermann Hesse, DEMIAN