April 28, 2003

April 28, 2003 01:22 AM

I experienced a JOLT of JOY three times today. 1. when I awoke, Bartholomew was smiling into my eyes with total love 🙂 2. I saw cd cover art for a forthcoming project of mine that it sheer GENIUS. I can’t get the image out of my mind. IN fact I now have it as my desktop picture on this computer……..TOTAL JOY…. and 3. I had a great four mile run! …….////.Quiet now but these observations are still from a place full of love & circulating blood : a curious thing. Take note of how someone treats and speaks about others once significant in their life, because this is how they will treat and speak about you. ……..This artery is abstract. about metaphor. This artery is literal. about patience. is about compassion and understanding. This artery is about self-respect and self-protection. is about balance. . I am absorbed in thought / ideas for work and then the sound of ” trying too hard”. hard steps, a uselessly repeated shut door and lock. I see myself as a teenager with total contempt for my parents. This attempts to invade my concentration and affect me emotionally. I am indeed weary of this curious directed tension. I don’t understand it but I will not let my equilibrium be destroyed by this wasted energy. I have too much light inside. I will not be swept up in someone else’s drama or ideas. I am too innocent. I will not enter a world of resentment, alienation, and self abuse. I have experienced too much life to be that “young.”…………….And innocence has nothing to do with youth. Remember. You can have no expectations from someone else. They are them and you are you. Shake it off. Be healthy. Do not lose your innocence. Bartholomew is a constant. He has found me. He can find you……… LIVE AND LET LIVE. ……..

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