November 06, 2003 04:02 AM
“withdraw unlove. . . withdraw unloving acts, unloving words, unloving gestures, and then suddenly you will catch yourself in a very loving mood.” .. i’ve been thinking a lot about delusion and how it manifests itself. and how it plays a part in interpersonal dynamic and self image and narcissism. .. exactly why do people mistreat the one with whom they once stripped nude and became the most intimate two people can possibly become in this life ? do people honestly believe that it is the other person’s “fault ” and that it will be different and wonderful with the ‘next’ person with whom they become involved ? this is the irresponsible person’s way out. i don’t believe in the denial involved in throwing people away and trading in the ‘old model’ and giving up and deciding that a person no longer matters at all and you can treat them insensitively and discard them like trash. .. the treatment at this sensitive time reveals the true nature of a person and how they treat you is a picture into their very deepest character and sense of honor or the utter lack thereof. this is what lies within them and this is what will always reveal itself in time. this nature does not change unless a person recognizes the need of help such as with any disorder. ..
what goes around comes around. .. if a person thinks abusive behavior is an exception in one case because it is what that person deserves and proceeds to act this way, they are revealing nothing more than denial in their inherent nature and unless it is recognized within, they will fail over and over and over in more areas of their life than their future doomed love life. there is NO excuse for mistreating the person with whom you once made love and said the words : ‘i love you.’ .. an investment of energy. of years of your life. heightened sensitivity. everything blatantly insensitive such as passive aggressive dismissive apathy and everything intended as cruel such as anger and hate and contempt and ridicule, mind fuck, abuse, torture, ugly abusive words is a source of pain when the one you once loved becomes bent on revenge because they cannot work out their own anger and inner problems with themselves and so they cease to recognize your humanity and their own humanity and they attack you like you are an animal. indeed, they behave like an animal themselves. .. the treatment at this sensitive time reveals the true nature of a person and no matter how many excuses they may make in their own confused head for why they turned away from you, how they treat you afterwards is a picture into their very deepest character and honor — or the utter lack thereof. .. for a person to justify their cruelty with their former lover and portray something else with another person from whom they want something , they flaunt only a deep character flaw. troubled nature.
.. look into yourself. what have you created.