June 06, 2004 12:33 AM
My house is a place of intensified disruption. I am waiting for the uneasiness to end so I can have peace in my life and once again have solitude within these walls. It is hard to work in my house these days. I feel violated. I know good work is ahead of me because I will have the space to breathe and the space to cultivate my ideas and dreams. So years ago, after he decided he did not want me I waited for the funeral to end. I wonder if there is a true partner for me and if we will recognize each other. I have to heal and from that place, learn to love and be loved and banish all the fearful energy that has inhabited my house for far too long.