July 14, 2004

July 14, 2004 02:49 AM

it is 2:37 a.m. as i type this and i am about to take a hot bath after an incredibly active overworked overwhelming day. i leave in a matter of hours and i will be gone for three weeks on the west coast. will make one more entry here from the house and then next time will be from the home of Miss Kris Force, with whom I will be staying in California. Pacifica is a great place. It reminds me of Florida vacations with my parents when I was a little girl. I have a lot of serious changes going on now in my life. In fact, a CRAZY amount of change is coming down all around. (Yes, globally.) I will soon have time to think it all out as I walk along the beach at night. The main thing is not to panic and let those emotions bury me again. “A slave to your emotions” Michael once called me… I am no longer a slave to them as I have learned techniques to ease the delusion that they are real.

And that is what they are : UNREAL.

We WANT to believe the pain and the sadness and the anger and the passion is REAL but it isn’t. Only the place inside yourself with a quiet awareness no matter how loud the world may be, is your home.