August 17, 2004

August 17, 2004 05:30 AM

NEWS : Steve Von Till (Neurosis) told me tonight that the performance will be in Los Angeles on November 6 at the Troubadour. This event is an incredible Neurosis concert of 2 1/2 hours. I am a “special guest” in the set and we do songs from our collaborative c.d. together. These musicians are amazing and I am so happy to have the space and energy field to repeat the magic of the concert in San Francisco.

Still waiting to hear confirmation from Krzysztof about St Johns Church in Gdansk. The concert will either be on September 26 or in October.

I have much going on now in my life. I am doing my best to think clearly and prioritize my responsibilities.

Sometimes it seems that I fail in my efforts in human dynamics. People place expectations upon me and pressure me and my time is dragged away and my energy is sucked away. So far, I keep bouncing back. Yet, it seems that it is impossible to please everyone. I will have to accept that I let others down simply because I do not have enough energy to go around.

Soon, I will drastically reorganize my time and my methodology. I will find new comrades and reorganize the dynamic regarding others.

I remind myself that I have come a very long way internally to keep my energy intact and move forward in my inner development.

I need time to reflect on the past and to bleed the toxic anguish and damnation out of me.

I will do this work with a powerful blue flame burning in my heart.