April 29, 2005 02:31 AM
Tonight I have realized something beautiful. Things are very clear. I am fortunate enough to have an awareness of purpose for my life. When your childhood and the events throughout your adolescence and college years and beyond begin to come into focus and make sense and point to a higher meaning, you realize that you are no longer lost. You realize that you are no longer searching. You realize the elegance in something simple and true. What is this life ? Why do I do music ? Why is my work born from a deep well of reflection and emotion ? Someone I dearly respect looked INTO me one night in August 2003 and saw my pain. He reached over and held my hand across a picnic table in his backyard in California and quietly asked me : “You are … lonely?” He then said that I must accept my aloneness in this life and accept that I will always be an outsider. He explained the purpose and the duty of my work and adhering to a vision. He said that I had to come to peace with being alone in myself. This person called last night and the very sound of his voice reminded me of the powerful effect his words had had upon me. I am grateful to this life for allowing me to have a voice and to perhaps have provided some kind of release or service to those who have allowed my work to touch them. Thank you for listening to me. I say this from my heart.
Thank You, Blixa.