February 09, 2006 01:14 AM
here is my first artery entry in weeks. the west coast tour is almost over as we have one more performance on February 10. i am writing this from Pacifica, California. i just came in from a long walk along the ocean at midnight and i saw the Pacific for the very first time in a completely different way. The moon was bright and it hit the rolling waves in such a way as to light it as if it were rolling waves of mercury. Pure silver. The effect was terrifying and otherworldly and exhilarating. i am sleep deprived but reflective. the shows began to take on a life of their own and this was fascinating to me as I became an observer of my own presentation while it was happening. i have looked into the eyes of the audience even when my own eyes were closed. i have listened to them even when they sat silently. Now : i am here at kris force’s home. john has returned to his apartment in san francisco. renee is with family in san jose. after the final show on Friday, I will spend as much time as possible climbing the bluff here and running along the ocean and enjoy solitude and reflection before returning home to intensive work.