May 13, 2006

May 13, 2006 03:58 AM

i have not slept. the sun is rising. birds are singing outside in the garden. i have experienced a major setback in balance. the coping skills had kicked in after he left me to enable me to survive. i ran furiously. i was running for my life. help me, i said with every breath. with every drop of sweat. somebody please help me. i have to understand that this fear is a chemically manufactured state enduced by my body’s system to warn me of impending danger. my isolation is severe. the only thing i need to feel is his arms around me. the only thing i need to hear is his heart beating inside me as i lay my head on his chest. there are times now when the only nourishment i crave is his love. there are times now when i am fed by the memory of his touch. i am here alone. i have not slept. the sun is rising. birds sing in a beautiful garden. wax has hardened in place where it melted and ran into a puddle on the table where i blew out the candles.