May 07, 2007 12:24 AM
i once wrote a song called “unraveling thread.” to me life is this steadily unfolding roll of fabric. you begin to appreciate perspective as the fabric turns slowly but surely. sometimes, the entire bolt is dropped and has to be carefully picked up and smoothed again so that it can once more continue the turning and spreading of the fabric. if everything were to come to an end this instant, i can say with peace and conviction that i have seen the heights and attained my life’s bliss and purpose and i am blessed to realize this while i am cognizant and aware and full of life. some of these moments : standing on the stage in Swans, recording in studios on to huge reels of tape in studios in London, realizing the power of my voice and the focused emotion it could convey, realizing my gift for melody and arrangement and making a song my own, connecting with members of Swans on stage in concert and levitating on stage and leaving my body as we performed, feeling so high and joyous and cleansed in my heart that i felt it would explode in my chest while in the presence of H.H. The Dalai Lama, traveling through some of the most magnificent countries of the earth for well over half of my life, and coming face to face with death and near death, accepting my own solitude and inward nature, doing sitting meditation for hours and running for 9 miles. . . the unfolding fabric .