February 04, 2008 10:15 PM
(post-surgery) I have pain at night where they cut me open. I worked very hard in January and did a lot of walking and taking long subway rides late at night back and forth from the city to the studio etc. climbing many stairs, screaming into the microphone. Hating it. Erasing it. Finding a new persona inside to take over and introduce another. You know the drill. Hard on myself. Looking for perfection in the way that only I can hear it/define it. And that is impossible to describe other than it is not obvious. I explored dense sonic texture on this album. Next album, I will be going for something else. I am never satisfied and I am always looking for something unexpected in audio and vocals. I am always searching for the illusive magic and the secret room and the open sea and the desert sunset and the stillness inside the chaos. This is a complicated album with a lot of different sound textures and not just a guitar driven rock album where every song has essentially the same elements. I am a mother to my albums, you know? I mean they are my children. And as a mother, I worry ! The album has heavy moments but it also has cello AND violin!!