February 8, 2001

11:11 p.m. thursday night amidst high tech recording equipment somewhere in new jersey… making music with the astonishing James Izzo.

there is a lot of snow everywhere outside. i have been on the inside recording, singing, arranging lyrics, etc.

these are tracks to be submitted to some of my favorite male vocalists to duet with me on a new style of Jarboe music. I am so excited to have found these emotions ..

I feel a sensuality coming out into my entire approach and I am so fulfilled to have this voice emerge.

after such a hellish period , i am in a space of loving who i am.

i love being in this body and i love being a woman.

this new album is an extension after the first Disburden Disciple project towards light and wisdom and JOY.

i am open and receptive to the loving and beautiful people in my life. i am cared for and appreciated and my love is returned to these very special and beautiful ones…Some of them are gorgeous guys. Some of them are amazing hot women.

You know who you are! THANK YOU FOR BEING IN MY LIFE ! “YEAH BABY ! YEAH !” it is so good to be alive. it is so good to be making music.

my GOD. i am H A P P Y !

Craig–I’ve GOT to have Peppermint Paddock for Maynard . Send some from Tokyo !!! Astor Wines does not have it afterall. 🙁 xxx

(hey–it’s my bloodstream, i can send out a personal if i wanna….)

February 5, 2001

2:08 A.M. Feb 5th

SO tonight I had a prep session for the performance on Feb 10 . A bizarre, intense, and ‘discombobulating’ experience. I’m looking forward to the event. It will be yet another new challenge.

The vision of the ‘new and improved’ Times Square tonight as ‘J’ and I made our way to the Lincoln Tunnel was exciting and attractive to me. Sort of a mini Las Vegas I suppose …And that is something loved or hated I suppose. Depends on the eye of the beholder. To me both places have a sort of Bladerunner vibe going….more so than even Tokyo or L.A….

Entering into work zone here with these recordings. MAy not be able to get to the computer very often to tell you about it —as the focus is tracking and getting a hell of a lot done with no time to think about anything else.

Remember I love you.

February 2, 2001

Feb 2

It is a beautiful day.

Music is circulating and deeply resonating.

Face the icy winds. Face the warm breezes.

Your vitriol will destroy you not me.

February 1, 2001

January 31

I received many birthday greetings via email from visitors to this site. Thank you.

I’ve got some great people in my life. I also received French wine and tenderloin and Pennyslvania snails and warm chocolate cake!

And roses.

And creative cards.

And original POEMS ! I am not afraid to declare I love poetry. Take that !! you cynics! LOL!!

And now I face a lot of productivity and I am ready for the challenge.

Recording and performing ………….and aligning future steps:

After all, “fail to plan, plan to fail,” someone recently remnded me.

“What IS peculiar.” the mysterious man said to me in the restaurant as he looked down at me…..HMMMM.

oh 🙂 btw, to the many astute star-fucked emails I received asking me if “Tom Cruise looks good in person” , the answer is: uh, yes.

And tomorrow is a beautiful day. It’s a state of mind baby.

January 28, 2001

Jan 28

This morning I took an intense hour long power walk and afterwards had a bath listening to Moroccan Sufi music and breathing incense. I held different hatha yoga positions in the water and went outside myself — I was so deeply inside myself.

January 27, 2001

January 27 2001


My life recently has been one where I am open enough to experience intense lessons. A good reminder of flexible ‘reality’ ……..


Thanks to both new and old friends : Percy and William and Jason and James and Sarah and Marlene and Debra and Linda….

Today , a birthday gift of my 15th discreetly placed tattoo.

Yesterday I sat in traffic singing Wayfarin’ Stranger and heard a new beautiful arrangement in my head. Full throttle. Will try it in Austin on March 16.

And I saw the film “Crouching Tiger….” will write a few of my impressions soon…


January 24, 2001

January 24 2001

A goat cheese/walnut tamale for breakfast while strolling through what sounds like a contradiction in terms : The Beverly Hills Farmers Market. (Beverly Hillbillies, anyone?) !

And a simultaneously disturbing /amusing exhibit at MOCA of the work of Paul McCarthy.

The Living Jarboe has just been confirmed to perform in Austin at the South By Southwest Conference in March………..


January 17, 2001

January 17, 2001 Los Angeles

I find myself this morning completely open and receptive. This trip has brought me to a place inside myself where I have found myself staring back at me. The realization of the relationship with ME. There is a dialogue afterall inside all of us. It’s just that a lot of times it gets buried and shuts down. And isn’t it easier to listen to all the pseudo voices around you than face yourself.

Since my last Artery, I was privledged to hear new music from Tool at the studio where they are currently mixing their new album, went out to dinner at a place I loved called Dar Maghred with Maynard James Keenan and new friend- William Faith, flew to San Franciso and recorded vocals in a studio in Sausalito with Oxbow, had brunch with Percy Howard and discussed our upcoming concert plans involving Bill Rieflin, and then yesterday back in L.A., after getting up from maybe 2 hours sleep at 5:30 a.m. and finding meself sitting in the makeup trailer getting my face airburushed with makeup and my hair styled by complete pros but barely able to keep my eyes open, then going back to my trailer near the set to rest , I sucessfully won the battle against a formidable attack from what felt like a cold/flu virus thanks too every herbal warrior i could blast at it along with sheer f*cking will power and discipline earned from my experience of brutal Swans touring scenarios…and spent the entire day at Paramount on the set of ‘Vanilla Sky’ (which was built and decorated to look like a wealthy art and book collector’s apartment in the Dakota in NYC . Peter Townsend’s smashed guitar hung inside plexiglass on one wall , Chuck Close’s painting of Robert Rauschenberg on another wall, various priceless religious artifacts, etc etc,in the ‘library’…) where I had what felt like an ‘undercover’ experience of being in a group scene as well as the honor of closely observing Mr. Cameron Crowe’s direction of actors Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, and Cameron Diaz in the scene. I have again come to the conclusion that Cameron Crowe is a true gentleman. At the end of the night, he gave me a little Japanese style bow with his hands together and told me I had ‘honored’ him with my presence on the set that day. 🙂 How awesome is THAT !! I had a memorable time and also now firsthand experienced based respect for the extras and background actors and crew on films of this level. The associate producer of this film, Mr. Scott Michael Martin, has got to be one of the coolest and hippest guys in Hollywood because not only is he a lot of fun to be with but he has the most impressive collection of experimental and non mainstream records and cds, etc. I have ever seen. 🙂 How cool is that !!! You know what ?? I have yet to personally see the tired cliched view of Hollywood the way it is generally portrayed. This is a new Hollywood and it is so great to have guys in power like these….


January 11, 2001

Thursday January 11, 2001 Los Angeles

I have been having a good time out here. I have had a few days to relax and write and read and think and also a moment of late night dialogue with Scott Michael Martin who is currently working 18 hour days with Cameron Crowe on ‘Vanilla Sky’ – a new Tom Cruise film that sounds really intriguing.

To take time out to think is a valuable thing not to be discounted. To take time out to not ‘DO’- but THINK.

Hmm. Gives me a tshirt idea. forget about ‘just DO it’ LOL !!:-)

Anyway–last night it was pouring down here and the streets were underwater. I have never even seen rain in California – so it has been very strange to see it like that..

Tonight i have the honor of going to the studio where Tool is mixing their new album and *Maynard* has told me that I will hear some of the new work ! AWESOME.